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Retirement Home Shopping

Super Secret Back Up Support Agent (SSBUSA) and I, just returned from a working, whirlwind vacation.  My fantabulous partner is referred to as SSBUSA because she is a Who’s Who (in a small pond, she would add), and has to live a semi-closeted life.  The good news is that she is elegible for retirement in a flash of  1 to 1 1/2 years, then she will have more personal freedom.  So, in preparation for that burst of independance, we went on the search for possible retirement burgs.  We thought that it was a good idea to start now, since we have such disparate needs.   I am a lizard of the desert and need it warm, she is a fox of the arctic, needs chilly hiking weather, and as a world traveler, she needs an airport within a reasonable distance, oh boy! 

 We flew to Portland, OR  where we visited and stayed with our respective Ex’s together, (only in Lezzy World does this happen!  One of our mantras is: you haven’t lost a lover, you’ve just gained a new best friend).  It only makes sense when you think about it and have some mature sensibilities to you; why wouldn’t your past lovers make good friends?  Who knows you like they do?  Who has seen you at your best, as well as your worst?  Helped you to limp through harrowing experiences?  The way that ex’s are villified and thrown away in the hetero world is a mystery to me, and seems like a colossal waste.  Talk to them, clean it up, apologize for all the nasty, underhanded shit you did, be willing to accept their apologies and get them back into your camp!  Strengthen your world by having authentic, true-blue people around you.  Ok, I know this is not going to work for everybody—maybe you were in a strange place when you picked that last one?!   Maybe the painful, gut-wrenching lessons that you NEEDED to learn are over.  All I ask is that you look at your waste pile of ex’s and see if there are any there, that are worth rehabilitating from the trashcan of your memory.  Ok, the next problem would be, how would your present partner take to this re-introduction?  Not everyone is as gracious and open minded as Super Secret Back Up Support Agent.  She was the one who suggested that we invite my ex-partner/best friend of 8 years, Mary, to join us on part of our vacation.  It was one of the sweetest experiences I’ve had in many years–two of the women who love me most in the world, traveling together with me on a future home hunt.  M1 and M2, as they are sometimes referred to, have met before and gotten along on their short visits, so a more intense togetherness experience wasn’t totally off the wall.  We stayed at M1’s 1912 house up in SE Portland the first night, we had a grand time.  M2 was expressively marveling at all the treasures and interesting items that M1 had accumulated in her many years of world travel, (and from my thriftstore gifts).  They have loads in common, just like many of your ex’s might upon closer examination.  Why shouldn’t they like each other?  The traits that brought you to the last one are probably similar to the traits of the present one, eh?  I think we all come onto the planet to learn lessons, that’s why you picked your parents, that’s why you have picked the first and second, etc, partner, or let them pick you.     (  (http://www.michaelteachings.com/m-channelings.html  This is a website address for the MICHAEL teachings, a channeled information source that is the most resonant, and interesting information that I’ve been exposed to on reincarnation, and just generally how life REALLY works). 

OK, back to the first night in Portland story:  the whole kit and kaboodle of us got together for dinner –M’s 1 & 2, M2’s ex-partner P, along with her present partner, N.  We had a good time just eating and talking.  The next evening was spent at N and P’s house in NE Portland.  It was sweet to be around people who were/are  important to SSBUSA.  “They are my family!”   She always tells me.  On Sunday (day 3) the M’s and I took off for Ashland, near the southern end of Oregon.  We pulled into Jacksonville, OR right before nightfall.  What a cute town!  There was a small, OLD downtown of about 6 streets.  It was an old gold mining settlement from the turn of the century.  There were a lot of farms and small houses in the countryside around it.  It reminded me of a smaller, flatter Bisbee,  with all it’s charm.  But we concluded that it wouldn’t do, too time in the 20’s and 30’s for me.  We figured out that the ideal temperature range that we could both agree on would be between 35 and 75ish.  We spent the night in Medford, a blue collar, more working class kind of town.  The next day we went into Ashland, what a sweet town that was!  It felt old, but progressive, small, but not too small, VERY expensive.  The shops were really cute and quirky, no cookie cutter shopping centers here!  A stream runs through the middle of town (reminded me of Santa Fe, NM a bit with the foresty feel, river in town and fabulous shops), there were bridges over it here and there, they had a short riverwalk area sort of  like the one in San Antonio, TX.  They have a large beautiful park at the edge of the down town with hiking trails, ponds, tennis courts and even bathrooms!  The town had a lovely laid back feeling.  But again Very expensive and maybe a pinch too cold for me.  Back into the car and off to the coast–stay tuned, loyal readers!